Just add 2 dashes…
Awaken your relationship
Let’s talk about love. Like real love. The kind that gets dirty, nasty, beautiful, loving and well, basically the best anecdote for being here some days.
Now, the love that we all know, probably really well, it’s pretty. It’s romantic. It’s always perfect and uplifting and cheerful. It’s the love that gets you in love. Like babies. Super cute so they survive, right? Well, that’s a huge part of love. It’s exploration. It’s fun. It’s new. It just feels so right. But what happens next?
Well, next is usually a place in the relationship called complacency. It’s not a pretty, bright, uplifting place. But you know what? It happens. And truly, it’s what you do about it. Complacency is kind of a dirty word, but if you acknowledge that you’re in it, it can be totally pivotal. It’s a place that love goes when it needs a little vacation. When love realizes that there are just too many dishes to do today. That the baby was up ALL night and love needs to hit snooze.
I don’t believe anyone wants to be in a complacent relationship. Yeah, sure, I love having a loveless marriage and boring life….said no one. Think about all of the work it took to court and fall in love? Well, that too needs upkeep! And when you start putting the time in, what you get on the other side of complacency is gorgeous. It’s comfortable AND exciting. Like a well padded roller coaster maybe? Maybe. I just know that I’ve been on all sides of love and it totally feels like smooth sailing once I dropped the bs and committed to change. Committed to dropping ego and giving in. To work. To love. To talking. And now to flourish (kinda the best part).
Relationships have so many layers, timelines, experiences, feelings….None are the same. But one thing I can attest to is that they take work. And that’s ok! It’s actually awesome! When you look at your partner that you’ve chosen for life, say yes! Say yes to talking, laughing, crying, maybe yelling. But just be sure to hold that love you have so dear.
Here are some steps we’ve taken to keep going strong when times get tough.
1- call each other out on things that upset you (in the most loving, non-condescending way) and be open to criticism
2- be ok with admitting that you are probably doing things that drive your partner crazy
3- be willing to change habits
4- listen to each other
5- have dates (sounds sooooo obvious but rarely happens after marriage)
And my favourite one - have meetings. This one has changed my life. Every week we hold a family meeting to talk about the good, the bad and the ugly. It gives everyone a chance to openly talk about how their week went and what they can do to move forward and grow. It also is great to stay on top of life, tasks, dates, everything. I know it may not sound very romantic but it leads to owning your feelings, getting organized and living blissfully!
Stay in love my friends! Or reach out to me if you need help or have any questions about co-existing with the love of your life xx